Shh! No It Doesn't!
by Bitter is Better
Summary: A collab by Lallie and Tiny Q. There's a sticky sinky step world and guess what! Draco and Ginny are in it!
1. Shh! No It Doesn't!

Tiny Q: Hello! We do not own anything. Even our cars are not ours. Nor our minds . . .

Lallie: Speak for yourself, I like my mind thank you very much. Just because I don't make sense to the majority of the population doesn't mean I don't appreciate my mind.

Tiny Q: You fool! I never said we don't _appreciate_ our minds! I said we don't _own_ them. Sheesh.

Lallie: Well that's different. Are you sure they'll like our story? Will it make sense to them? Will THEY read it and punish us?

Tiny Q: No, Lallie, I don't think "THEY" (Being the teachers Professor York is based on) will punish us. And I do not know if people will like our story. Hope they will though . . . ~hopeful eyes~

Lallie: Right you know nothing and I KNOW all!

Tiny Q: I hate you. I know something! Just because I doodle all class does not mean I am as daft as you have hinted in this story.

Lallie: You're not in the story oh bright one.

Tiny Q: Shush up! I'll eat your liver!

~So ends our conversation~

Tiny Q: Our story needs a title.

Lallie: SHHHH! No it doesn't

Tiny Q: Well I guess that's alright for now.

Lallie:BAH!

****

Shh! No it doesn't!

****

Chapter 1

"And the political system of the Irish house elves . . ." the teacher's voice droned on and on. With each passing "yadda yadda and blah blah blah" the blonde's head sank slowly down his hand and soon became one with his desk.

From her seat at the back of the class Ginny Weasley almost burst out laughing. Draco Malfoy's head was lulling to one side, resting on his left arm that was hanging limply off the front of the desk. His right was at an odd angle looking almost broken. Ginny narrowed her eyes. 'Is that . . . drool?' she wondered.

"Psst . . . Annabell . . . Check out Malfoy. I think he's dead and there's a good possibility that he's drooling."

The girl beside Ginny craned her neck up, trying to see past the half-elfin blonde male in front of her. "Bloody hell. Why do all tall people have to sit in front of short ones."

The elfin half-blood turned around with a smile. "It's in the rule book my dear. You should look it up sometime."

~PAUSE!! Short girl reaches out to smack elf dude~

Now, just in case you are wondering how it is possible how Draco and Ginny can be in the class together, here's an explanation: Dumbledore had another "interesting" idea about teaching the students about political structures of the Wizarding World. For some reason he thought it would be the perfect opportunity to encourage interaction between the different years. And just our luck! The Slytherins and Gryffindors have been placed together. What a coincidence. 

So where is the Dream Team then? Far left corner. Where Ron and Hermione have been fondly termed "Insane Hip-Huggers" for they are now permanently joined at the hip. In more than one way.

I think that brings you up to date.

~UNPAUSE~

Smack!

The rather square shaped professor turned around quickly with his arm extended, releasing the piece of chalk in his hand, to point at Ginny. The piece of chalk sailed through the air in a perfect very high-speed arch only to find that Draco's head was in the way. Draco sat up with a start, looking around with sleepy innocence. 

"Virginia Weasley! How many times do I have to tell you _not_ to talk in my class?! And now I find you physically abusing you classmates?"

Ginny's mouth dropped open. "But I-"

"Don't talk back to me," the professor growled. "Please let me inform you that this is your last warning. One more interruption from you and you will be moved permanently."

Ginny glared back at the professor and had half a mind to show him a finger. Or two. But she restrained herself and sent Annabell her patented death glare. Well it was patented around her family anyway. The short girl blushed and ducked her head down, trying hard not to giggle aloud. It took a total of thirty seconds before Ginny began to giggle as well.

"I hate you," Ginny managed quietly, trying to sound serious but ended up sounding rather high-pitched.

"Stop giggling!" Professor York, the Troll-Hobbit half-breed, snapped, whipping around to glare at the class with his beady green eyes. Everyone stopped moving, leaving Harry holding a paper airplane aimed at Goyle's head. The teacher glared at all the students.

"That's it!" he snapped. "I can't take this dysfunctional class any longer! It stops here!" Ginny gulped as the usually mild mannered Prof. glared at her. "Virginia Weasley. Sit in the front beside Mr. Malfoy."

"But-" she started.

"NOW!" he thundered.

Ginny slowly gathered her books and walked sullenly through the suffocatingly silent class. She turned her head towards the Dream Team only to find Ron shaking his head sadly and Harry looking at her with pity. Hermione currently had her face buried in Ron's neck, avoiding Professor York's piercing gaze. Ginny's shoulders slumped forward and she slid into the vacant seat next to Draco.

"Hey blondie, you have to move your stuff," she muttered.

Draco glared at her but obligingly pulled his books to his side of the desk. "Are you happy now lil' Weasel?" he shot at her.

"No, I'm not," she smiled at him though obviously fake cheerfulness.

"Virginia, what seems to be the problem? You're holding my class up with your disruption."

"Well sir, there really isn't a very large problem. It's a rather small one. You see my name is Ginny. It's not Virginny or Virginia. Its Ginny. G-I-N-N-Y," she said with quiet sincerity. "I'd be much obliged if you would call me either by that or Miss. Weasley."

Professor York threw back his head and laughed. "Oh no, _Miss. Weasley_. You see I can actually call you almost anything I want. Now BE QUIET!"

Ginny's eyes grew wide and her already pale skin blanched further. She leaned back in her seat and stared at her desk. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Draco pulling faces at her. She sent one of her own back.

"Now as I was saying," Professor York said darkly. "Before I was so rudely interrupted." He glared at Ginny then turned his glare to the rest of the class. "Was that the house elves really don't much care for the wizards of England. Can you tell me why . . . Mr. Finnigan?"

Seamus Finnigan looked up with a start. He had been in the middle of desecrating his desk. "Uh . . ." he said daftly. "Because the wizards try to suppress them?"

Dean Thomas, who was in the middle of doodling up a storm, stifled a laugh.

"Yes, is there something you would like to share with the class Mr. Thomas?" An eyebrow raise over the menacing eyes.

"Well sir, there's this Muggle movie where someone cries out: "Help! I'm being oppressed!" Brilliant movie that one. Anyways, Seamus' comment just reminded me of it. Too bad the house elves aren't as aware of the oppression as Denis was."

Professor York blinked with surprise. "Indeed. See class? When you can relate house elf suppression to a Muggle comedy then you can slack off as Mr. Thomas apparently can."

A look of hope washed across Dean's face. "Really sir?"

Professor York snorted. "No. Moving on." He walked up to the front row of desks and leaned over Ginny and Draco's, staring out at the class. "Since applying history to current events seems to interest you, let's try a case study, shall we?" The class stared blankly back.

"Let's say Draco here works for Flourish and Blotts. Stocking dusty old books all day in dark and dingy conditions." Ginny shot a grin at the blonde's horrified look. "Now Flourish and Blotts does not want Draco to think. They want him to stock books all day long and not care if his back hurts. They want his body to be theirs. He has no assets he can sell except his body and his labor. So technically he's a prostitute for Flourish and Blotts."

Ginny grinned like a maniac but dared not make a sound. Draco's mouth was open in silent horror, moving slightly. "And that is what house elf suppression in like," Professor York said simply, not noticing the class' shocked looks.

Hermione looked triumphant as she elbowed Ron in the stomach. "See, I told you they were suppressed."

Professor York's head snapped around at the whisper. "Yes, Miss. Granger, did you have something to add?"

"Well sir, I tried to start an anti-suppression group for the house elves. I told everybody that the conditions were inhumane, but nobody wanted to join," she sighed unhappily.

Professor York looked amused. "Whoever said they wanted to be released? Besides, who are you to decide that they should want to be liberated?"

"But they're practically slaves!" she exclaimed, her face flushing. It was at this time that the whole of Gryffindor house rolled their eyes. The S.P.E.W. badges were still far too fresh in their minds. Ginny could just see Harry struggling not to sigh with exasperation and smack himself upside the head. "They don't deserve to live like that!"

"They are happy living as they are, Miss. Granger," Professor York said primly. "Would you appreciate someone coming to you and claim that they were going to liberate you from your way of life? The way that you are perfectly happy living?"

"But-" Hermione started. At the look Professor York and the rest of the class gave her, she shut her mouth. "It's not right," she mumbled, once again burying her face in Ron's neck.

Professor York shook his head sadly. "Look at it this way Miss. Granger. House elves are supplied with food, shelter, work they love and some form of material for coverage. They are given protection from their natural predators and their not-so natural predators. What isn't right exactly?"

"They need to be paid!" she said hotly, pulling her face from Ron's neck once more. "They need guarantees for their elfin lives. Not simply being assured that they will serve one family for the rest of their lives."

"And who are you to tell them otherwise?" Professor York demanded. "Why should you be so important to dictate the elve's lives in whatever way you see fit?"

"Well- I-" Hermione stuttered. The class as one increased the sizes of their eyes twofold. Hermione stuttering before a teacher? Unheard of!

Ginny looked over at Draco only to see a big smile plastered across his face. "What's your problem?" Ginny whispered.

Draco arched an eyebrow curiously. "You don't like seeing the know-it-all speechless and unable to answer?" he replied. "I've only seen this happen once before and god damn-it I'm going to enjoy it!"

Professor York smiled with satisfaction. "Good. Now before you try and start a house elf revolution, or another kind for that matter, think a little!"

The rest of the class went by without incident. Hermione, seemingly too abashed to raise her voice again that class, sulked beside Ron. Harry had stopped throwing paper airplanes. Seamus no longer defiled the desk, yet Dean still doodled endlessly. And since Ginny had no one else to talk to she remained silent, trying not to glare openly at the wide-backed professor.

On a brighter note: no one else was accused of being a prostitute. A point that Ginny brought to Annabell's attention as they made their way to the Common Room. Thankfully the class has been the last of the week.

"Malfoy's a prostitute," Ginny giggled and Annabell burst out laughing.

"No doubt," the short girl said beside her mischievously. "With those legs on him."

It was Ginny's turn to burst out laughing.

"Something funny Weasel?" Draco Malfoy sneered from behind her. Ginny paused in her laughing to look at Annabell and then the two proceeded to laugh harder.

Draco shook his head sadly. "No appreciation for the finer things in life. One day you'll learn that you only should laugh when a Malfoy makes a joke."

Ginny grasped her stomach in pain and gasped for breath. "Don't worry Malfoy- ow- Stop making me laugh Annabell- We weren't laughing at you. It's just the combination of the situation and a passing comment about your legs."

Draco's brow puckered with confusion as he raised his robe to look at his long, slim legs sheathed in gray trousers. "What's wrong with my legs? I've been told I have the sexiest calves this side of England."

Ginny clutched her sides in pain as she looked at Annabell's expression. "Nothing's wrong with your legs." She glanced backwards and mouthed "run" to her friend to save her from immediate danger. Annabell paused uncertainly before she dashed off. "It's just that you must use them so much." She frowned at the way it came out.

"Since I walk and all," Draco sneered, his tone filled with bored amusement. "You know Weasel, one worries about you sometimes." He walked towards her, forcing her to climb the stairs backward to keep him in view. 

"Oh, how sweet," Ginny said sweetly, still moving backwards. "You care about me."

"I never said _I_ cared," Draco scoffed. 

"Pity," Ginny said sarcastically, trying to sound put-out.

It was at this time that Ginny felt her foot snag. She thought at first that she had simply tripped. But when her leg did not come free she began to panic. Flailing her arms, she felt her body teeter backward. 'I'm going to break something,' she thought frantically.

"Watch it," Draco snapped, reaching out a hand to steady her. One of her frantically moving arms grasped his own.

"Thank-" she started to say until she realized that her foot was still snagged on something. Looking down, she gasped. Her foot was in the Sinking Step. And she was sinking fast. Faster than she should be. Ginny, being slightly klutzy, had gotten herself caught in the Sinking Step numerous times before. But never had she not stopped sinking.

"Shit, Draco. What's going on? Oh let go of my leg sticky, sinky step!" Ginny yelled down at the step.

Draco grabbed both of Ginny's arms preventing her from flailing and unfortunately stopping her resistance to the pull inside the step. Her other leg soon followed the first. "I don't know why I'm doing this Weasley. But I won't let go."

"You better not, Malfoy."

"I thought it was Draco?"

Ginny let out a yelp as her shoulders were yanked down bellow the stair level. "Pull Malfoy! Pull like your life depended upon it!"

With a jerk, Ginny's shoulders were dragged under the stair. 

"There's no point!" Draco's voice called, sounding strained.

"Why not?" Ginny screamed.

"Because I'm being dragged in too!"

The Dream Team walked around the corner, about to ascend the stair. They stopped in shock as they saw Ginny's head and Draco's lower body braced again the Sinking Step. Ginny let out one last scream as both she and Draco were pulled down into the stair. The last thing they saw of the two were the tips of Draco's Armani shoes disappearing completely.

~*~

Lallie: Anyways please review and help me cure my neurotic need for acceptance.

Tiny Q: This is not a place to cure your problems.

Lallie:I have no problems. I'm just a little bit needy.

Tiny Q: Right….Anyways look for chapter two coming to a computer screen near you. ~twitch~


	2. Elephants!

Title: Shh!  No It Doesn't!

Authors: Lallie and Tiny Q

E-Mail: bitter_is_better@hotmail.com

Tiny Q:  Wow.  You actually wrote an ending without killing everyone off in your frustration.

Lallie:  Hey!  I only did that once and just because I'm planning to again doesn't mean anything!

Tiny Q:  Whatever you say my dear.  But you really should see someone about all your issues.  Preferably someone who knows what they are doing.

Lallie: Monty Python knows what they're doing.  Just look at the "Run away" and the God quote thing with the apologizing...That's brilliant!  Even you can't argue with that.

Tiny Q:  Well... I could...  But I am not going to 'cause I would rather like to keep my head in it's place.  Too bad we didn't come up with that stuff though... We would be millionaires!  I mean even those cutesy little fishies in Finding Nemo said it!!  Well, swim away....

Lallie: Oh those wonderful little fish...anyways this is really long.  I hate writing long things...though this did take us a long long time to write.  Oops.

Tiny Q:  Damn school.  I swear those teachers knew that we were writing this and made sure that we had no class time whatsoever to continue.

Lallie: I suppose they were just doing their jobs.  At least they knew what they were doing...not like us.  We keep having to steal movie quotes and ideas.  Look at the Matrix and Ghost Busters stuff we pulled in.  The readers might think we are a little off.  It's totally random...not like those elephants.  They fit right in.  I wish I was an elephant in school...I'd be the popular one then and all would bow down.

Tiny Q:  What?  Like our counselor??  You really are off your rocker!  And here I thought I was the crazy one.  All bow down to Lallie, Queen of Insanity.  Yes, you too Mr. Pink Floyd.

Lallie:  You're right...I was popular at school...what was I thinking.  Thanks for bringing me to my senses.  Anyways I'm sorry reader people....we didn't mean to take so long but we were....distracted.  With the hating of this story and writing other stories that we hate.  Maybe we should get some anger counseling.

Tiny Q:  Damn straight!  And it's anger management Lallie.  Don't you remember that movie?  They sang in it!  I feel pretty, oh so pretty-  Ow!  Stop throwing things!  Albeit for me to be able to break into song randomly.  But noooooo.  That is reserved only for the Queen of Insanity.  Hmph.

Lallie:  Oh stop talking...or should I say RANTING oh crazy one.  Let the people read the story they've been waiting for!  I mean we did leave them hanging...literally!

Tiny Q:  I'm sure they've been waiting _so anxiously.  Ok!  I'll shut up!!_

**Shh****!  No It Doesn't!**

**Chapter 2**

Tiny Q:  So, what are we going to call this chapter??

Lallie:  Is there even an option?

**Elephants!!!!!!**

Tiny Q: Apparently not.

~*~

            "Oh my god!" Ginny's voice sliced through Draco's own yelps of horror.  "We're gonna die!"

            "Weasley!" Draco screamed at her, but she kept right on yelling.

            "We're going to keep falling until we hit something!" she shrieked, flailing her arms about in an odd attempt to fly.  

~pause~

Well obviously.

~unpause~

            Draco resisted the urge to do the same, crossing his arms in frustration, indecently causing himself to fall faster.  "It's times like these I wish I wore a dress," Draco muttered bitterly, as the girl continued to scream.

            Ginny stopped screaming and looked at him puzzled.  Then she frowned.  "You're wearing a robe, isn't that close enough?!"

            Draco muttered  thanks to whatever gods there may be for that blessed shriek free moment.

            They had been falling for the last five minutes, down a dark, not so narrow tunnel.  The two had yet to see anything but darkness.  But he had been subjected to five whole minutes of flapping and screaming.  Off key piercing screaming, mind you.

            "Oh shut up already," Draco snapped finally at the flapping red head.  "If we die we die.  No point in wrecking my eardrums before it happens."  He paused

            Ginny continued flapping her arms as she shot Draco a glare.  "I'm sorry alright?" she said with a sniff.

            "Don't apologize," Draco snapped.  "Every time I try to talk to someone it's 'sorry this' and 'forgive me that' and 'I'm not worthy'.  It's starting to get downright annoying."

            "Think highly of yourself, don't you?" Ginny said flatly, frowning at him.  

            "Well of course I do," Draco said with a drawl.  "I am _the_ Slytherin Badass."

            "Well I'm sorry," Ginny sniffed once more.  "But I just can't stay around someone so high and mighty as you.  Goodbye."

            He looked upwards to see tears form in Ginny's eyes and see her try to move away from him in a comical attempt to do a backwards breaststroke.  To his amazement she moved away from him in this odd form of locomotion and disapeared into the darkness.  

            'What the?' he thought as he heard her echoing sniff drift back to him.

            "Shit," he swore aloud, trying to think of a way to follow her, though as to why he needed to, he wasn't sure.  Finally letting a disgruntled he hissed: "Well this is just great."

            As he continued to fall deeper into the dreary blackness he rolled his eyes and muttered: "Well, it's not like I have anything better to do."  With a shake of his head he attempted to do the same strange stroke that Ginny had previously done into the general direction that she had disappeared.

            "The things I do for that red head," he said as he fell faster and faster into the darkness.  But the darkness was becoming lighter and lighter as he plummeted down.

            Suddenly Draco was enveloped in a blinding white light.  "Ahh!" he bellowed in a gruff girly man voice.  H e looked down only to see the ground rushing up to meet him.  "I am _really starting to hate this falling stuff," he muttered caustically._

            A giggle drifted up to him from somewhere below him.  He looked around, but instead of seeing the girl he had hoped he saw a gigantic pillow.  It was looking up at him, getting bigger and bigger as he approached.  Yet as to how a pillow could look at you, was beyond Draco.  He quickly sheltered his head with his arms as he did a belly flop.  The pillow giggled again.  

            Rolling over, he sat up on the pillow, which giggled once more.  He stared down at it, and gave it an experimental poke for good measure.   It giggled again.

            "Well that's new," he muttered.  "A giggling pillow."

            "Oh, it does more than giggle," a voice said from behind him.

            Draco's eyebrows shot upwards into his hairline.  He turned around to see the familiar face of Ginny.  "And how would you know that?"

            Ginny pointed her sock covered foot as though making a point.  "It just ate my shoe.  That's how I know," she said with a certain smugness.

            "Ugh," he groaned, moving his face.  "Get your smelly foot _out of my face."_

            "My feet don't smell," she scoffed.

            "Sure they don't," he sneered.  "A bog just decided to pass by."

            Ginny looked around, but upon seeing no bog, passing or otherwise, she scowled at Draco.  "Don't lie!  It's not good for you."

            Draco looked at her with amusement and he burst out laughing.  He just laughed and laughed, as Ginny's face got redder and redder.

            "Ow!" he suddenly bellowed.  Ginny had kicked him squarely in the stomach.

            "See?" she asked innocently.  "Told you."  There was a triumphant look in her eyes.

            "It's only bad for me because of you kicked me," he pointed out the obvious.  He rolled over to lay on his back, simply staring upwards.  "Hey Weasley, I know you lost your shoe, but could you stop trying to take mine?"

            "What?" he heard the confusion ring clear in her voice.

            "They wouldn't go with your outfit.  Armani and jean do not go together."

            "Why would I want your stupid shoe?" she hissed.

            "Cause just one is worth double your house value," he sneered, attempting to pull his foot away.  The tugging persisted.  

            "Well then," she growled.  "I was going to tell you that the pillow was eating your shoe, but I don't feel like it anymore."

            "What?" he snapped.  Looking sharply down at his shoe he saw that what the red head said was true.  The pillow had half eaten his lovely leather loafer.

            Draco looked at his foot helplessly and stopped his quivering lip.  "We should go before any more casualties happen," he said with an emotionless voice.  

            "What are you talking about?" Ginny snapped.  "The cow was dead before it was turned into your overpriced shoes."

            "Who cares about the cow," Draco muttered darkly, getting up from the ground, glaring down at the pillow that was still attached to his foot.  "I want my shoe."  He attempted to kick the pillow, but found it heavier than it seemed.  "Give it back," he hissed, pulling at his leg in an attempt to get his foot and shoe free.

            With an all-mighty jerk the blonde stumbled backward, straight into a startled red head.  Draco's Armani shoe was sadly not among the pile of limbs.

            "Get off!" Ginny shrieked, swatting at him with her hand.

            Draco struggled into a sitting position causing Ginny to squeak in pain.  He looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow curiously.  "What's the problem Weasley?  Does the sight of my fine behind cause you physical pain at the sight of its beauty?"

            She shook her head and tried to push him off her lap.  "No!  It's boney!"

            "_Boney_?" he scoffed.  "There is no way-"  He was cut off as Ginny gave a rough push and the blonde was forced off the red head's lap.  "Ow," he muttered as his ass landed on the ground.  Perhaps his behind was lacking a good portion of natural cushioning after all.

            "Let's get out of here," Ginny muttered, rubbing her legs.

            Draco looked mournfully at his shoe as he stood, before he reached for Ginny's hand and yanked her to her feet.  "One generally stands before they can achieve a worthwhile forward motion."  He smirked at her.

            "Oh thank you Malfoy.  I could never have figured that out by myself," she cooed mockingly, batting her lashes at him with fake adoration.

            Draco's eyes flicked over her with amusement.  "I know," he stated simply before he started to walk in the opposite direction of the pillow.  "I hope you don't mind but there seems to be a door over there."

            Ginny growled something under her breath and grudgingly followed him towards the door.

            "What did you say Red?" the blonde called over his shoulder.

            "I didn't say anything," she snapped back.

            "Oh, but you did," he replied in an almost sing-song voice.  _Almost_.  Malfoys do not sing even when taunting someone.

            A sneer between the two of them mutually ended the conversation.  And so they began to walk in silence toward the door.  The trek gave Draco the chance to look about their surroundings.  It appeared the two of them had landed in the middle if a large field.  Far off to the left a dark forest loomed menacingly.  Yet to what Draco assumed to be the North there was a large door, floating on the top on a ridge.  There appeared to be no building for the door to lead to, but it was there nonetheless.  

            Draco glanced back over his shoulder to where he had landed.  He did a double take.

            "Uh, Weasley," he said slowly, glancing at her.  "I recommend that we run."

            "Huh?" she asked in confusion.  "Why?"

            "Because that shoe-eating pillow is charging towards us," he replied passively.  "And I have a feeling that it wants the remaining shoes."

            "Oh," Ginny replied.  She started jogging towards the door.

            "No Weasley!  I said RUN!" he screamed as he started to sprint away from the rampaging pillow.  

            "It's all your fault!  You shouldn't have tried to pull your shoe away.  It didn't like the taste of my shoe," she complained in between pants as she tried to catch up with Draco.

            "It was too poor!  Now shut up and run!" he yelled back at her as he leapt upwards, trying to land on the ridge that was just bellow the floating door.  He succeeded.

            Sprinting as fast as she could, Ginny attempted a similar feat.  Unfortunately her long legs were a touch clumsier than Draco's and her take off was not as smooth.  Her feet came up short causing her to hit her shins painfully against the ledge.  

            "Crap!" she called, catching the ledge as she fell back towards the ground.  It took a touch of effort but she managed to pull herself up onto solid ground and sat there, clutching her bruised shins.  "Thanks so much for your help, Malfoy," she sneered, glaring up at the blonde.  

            "Oh, no problem Weasley," he drawled, examining his nails.

            Ginny rubbed her shins one more time with a sympathetic pat before she stood up straightening her robes.  "Well, why are you just standing here?  Open the door," she muttered.

            He rolled his eyes.  "You don't honestly think that you can just turn the handle of a magic door and it will open, do you?" he asked with his assumed superior ness ringing through like a bell.

            Ginny shrugged and turned the handle.  The door swung open.  "Well, what do you know?  I guess it does."  And she walked through without looking backwards.

            "Don't you ever look before you enter a room?" he snapped.

            "Why should I?" she asked curiously.  He followed her through and they both stopped in amazement at what they saw.

            "That's why," was his only reply.

            Before them was an ongoing hall that had an infinite amount of doors spreading in either direction.  They all looked exactly alike.  

            Draco sighed with disgust.  "Why does one door always lead to another?"

            Ginny stopped and raised her hand to scratch her chin thoughtfully.  "Not all doors.  There are doors that lead outside and doors that just lead into a room with no other exits."

            Draco interrupted her with the only way he could think of: he kissed her.  "Shut up, Ginny," he muttered with boredom.

            "You kissed me," she said, pointing at him, her face resembling what could only be described as a fishy expression.

            "Why yes, I did," he stated.  "Now let's go home."

            "But how do you know which door leads home?" she asked, her fishy expression replaced by curiosity.

            He pointed to a door with sparkly stars placed randomly all about, making the already childish design look like it had been attacked by attention starved pre-schoolers.  "It's the only one that has 'home' written on it."

            Ginny finally looked at the ugly door she had been trying not to glance at.  She had a feeling that if she stared at the door down the hall and slightly to the left for too long she would get nauseous.  "Well, so it does.  What do you know?"

            Draco shook his head in slight disgust, but seemed too involved in his smirking to comment.  The two of them turned to make their way down the hall towards the poorly painted door.  They were making good time too, well until one of the monotonous doors opened.  

            "They can't find me in here," Voldemort muttered, glancing around.  Ginny instantly leapt towards Draco, grabbing onto his robes.  Voldemort looked their way but appeared too eager to hide from "they" that he took no notice.  He closed the door and took off at a quick pace in the direction opposite of the painted "home" door.  

            Ginny clung to Draco with a painful grip.

            "God damn it," she whispered into him.  "Can't that freak leave me alone?"  Draco got the impression that Voldemort was your simple run-of-the-mill stalker rather than the Dark Lord.  He was about to comment when the door opened once more.  All present turned.  

            "There he is!" Peter called.

            Four men dressed in plain grey jumpsuits donned with a "no" sign about a ghost.  There were also tacky looking belts fasten about their waists covered in various gadgets.  On their backs were large plastic looking backpacks connected to the apparent ray-guns in their hands.  They would have looked cool in the 80's, but now they were just plain silly.

            "Voldemort, come back!" Winston called.

            Voldemort looked at them as a deer looks at an oncoming car and ran as fast as he could in the direction he had been headed.

            The four plastic equipped men stood there in a daft fashion for a moment and took off after them, brushing past Draco and the Klingon- I mean, cling on, Ginny in the process.

            "Sorry," Raymond called back.  

            "Do you hear something?" asked Raymond, glancing around.  

            "Hey!  Snake dude!" Peter called as they continued to run.

            "I'm not Voldemort!" the white skinned terror bellowed.  "I'm Tom Riddle!"

            "I swear I hear something," Raymond mused again.

            "You always are hearing things," Egon snapped.  

            Ginny paused to think, then pulled her face away from Draco and bellowed down the seemingly endless hall: "Riddle and Voldemort are the same person!"

            "Ow," Draco muttered, rubbing his ear as though searching for sympathy.  He received none.  

            Raymond, the one who claimed to hear things, turned around and glanced at the red head.  Though his attention seemed to be drawn to something behind her.  His eyes grew wide.

            "I knew I heard something!" he screamed at the others.  They all turned to look at him, still running.  "ELEPHANTS!" he screamed, pointing at a heard that had appeared from somewhere around the painted door.

            Ginny and Draco turned to look as well.  The elephants had paint all down their trunks.  Nether wanted to ponder what this meant.

            "Run away!" they all screamed as one, and chanted this phrase as they bolted past the Dark Lord who soon joined them.

            The heard of elephants rushed past the two Hogwarts students, leaving a large dust trail in their wake.  When the dust had cleared only the two of them remained in the hall.  They both looked about blankly.

            "Well that was..." Ginny trailed off, giving a feeble shrug at her apparent loss for words.

            "Not right?" Draco offered.

            Ginny nodded.

            They stood there for a moment then Draco looked down on the girl still clinging to him.  "Shall we then?"  He gestured towards the door.

            "Uh..." Ginny said slowly.  "Sure.  Why not?"

            And they walked towards the door, the badly painted elephant door, and went through.

            They passed through the threshold of the Main Entrance doors just in time to see themselves get sucked into the sinking step.  They looked at each other and blinked in surprise.  "Well that was productive," Draco muttered as he pulled Ginny forward with his arm around her waist.

            The trio looked at them and then looked at the stair.  Hermione's left eye started twitching.  Ron's right eye started twitching.  Harry's hand flew to his head and clutched it as if in pain.  "Steps... saving... here... no more saving... I won't be a hero... NOOOOOOO!" he uttered brokenly.

            Ron started to approach Draco menacingly, his hands clenched into fists.  "What did you do to my sister?"

            "Nothing," the blonde snapped as he pulled Ginny tighter against him.  "I just fell in love with her."

            Ginny looked at him in surprise.  "You did?  When?"

            Draco shrugged.  "I think it happened between the rampaging pillow and the Tom Riddle Cling.  My heart made it's own connection."

            Ron fell to the ground in a full body spasm.  "Malfoy... sister... very bad... very bad, very bad, very bad... _Unnatural!" could be heard between his unintelligent mumbles._

**The End**

Lallie and Tiny Q:  REVIEW!!!  Please oh please.  We need constant reassurance.

Tiny Q:  No.  That's just you.  I need artistic reassurance.  No one likes my drawings.

Lallie:  I do but that's not the point.  Readers....Please share your thoughts even if it's just to yell at us for taking so long to come out with our interesting little finale.


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